EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

WHAT IS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE ?

Empathy is, at its simplest, awareness of the feelings and emotions of other people. It is a key element of Emotional Intelligence, the link between self and others, because it is how we as individuals understand what others are experiencing as if we were feeling it ourselves.

When we sympathize with someone, we feel bad for them, but from a distance. When we empathize, we are able to be truly connected with them and feel with them. Using empathy transforms relationships, reduces tension and improves behavior. It is also one of the most effective discipline tools.

We should train our empathy : Today's society keeps forgetting the meaning of empathy, we loose our natural empathic side because of the more impersonal actions through the days, e.-mails, texts, video chatting, all these are biggest factor to blame.

The Five Common Components Of Emotional Intelligence

Connelly Hayward, a master trainer in emotional intelligence, explained what the five components of emotional intelligence are:

1.      Self-awareness is the ability to recognize and understand your emotions and the effect those emotions have on you and others around you.

2.      Self-regulation is the ability to think before acting and suspend judgment about a situation, person or experience. With self-regulation, redirecting disruptive impulses is a must.

3.      Social awareness involves understanding the emotional state of those around you. In other words, it is the ability to sense the emotional temperature of a room. Social awareness also encompasses recognizing how your words and actions affect others.

4.      Social regulation is the ability to influence the emotions of others. Social regulation involves knowing when it's appropriate to influence the emotional condition of others and when it's appropriate not to do so.

5.      Motivation is the passion you have for work that goes beyond money, recognition or promotion.

Why Should You Care About Emotional Intelligence ?

You might wonder why emotional intelligence in business is important and why you need it. As Hayward points out, leaders influence and guide people who come from varying backgrounds with different perspectives and temperaments, which requires a higher level of emotional intelligence. 

A high EQ(Emotional Quotient) is needed for decision-making and stress management. A leader needs to know their own emotional state, the emotions of others and they must be able to selectively utilize that information (or omit it) to make calculated, clear-headed decisions. Hayward said managers equipped with a high EQ are able to effectively defuse tense situations and positively resolve problems while maintaining a clear head and calm disposition.

How Can You Become More Emotional Intelligent ?

Leaders can boost their emotional intelligence by taking the time to learn about people and becoming more self-aware of their own emotions. If you practice becoming more mindful of your own feelings and your reactions to others, you'll become more empathetic.

"While some people are going to be naturally gifted with a higher EQ than others, like anything else, it is possible to improve with patience and dedication," said Lupton.

"Taking time to get to know people around you and consciously seeking to empathize can go a long way toward having an effectively higher EQ," Lupton added. "If you look at someone else and see yourself reflected back in them, you can begin to treat them in a more compassionate manner."

How Can You Use Emotional Intelligence To Go Ahead  ?

Besides improving your relationships with your boss and co-workers, improving your EQ skills might lead to a higher paycheck. Rode's study found that people with a high EQ have, on average, higher salaries than people who don't.

To measure emotional intelligence, Rode and his coauthors required participants to solve multiple emotional problems that had right and wrong answers, similar to an IQ test. Study participants were shown pictures of people's faces and were asked to identify the particular emotions. Participants were also presented with different scenarios and were asked to identify the best response.

"Following this research, we argued that emotional intelligence should be more relevant to success – and salary – at higher organizational levels, where leadership becomes a relatively more important part of one's job," said Rode.

"People who are good at working with other people and getting other people to work with them tend to get more work done," said Hancock. "They have good reputations since people like working with them."

Emotional Intelligence Test

Emotional intelligence tests can offer valuable insight into your EQ skills. By evaluating your own emotional intelligence and training yourself on how to be more aware of your own emotions and those of the people around you, you learn how to

·         Better manage stress.

·         Communicate more effectively.

·         Empathize with others.

·         Be a stronger leader.

Improving EQ On A Daily Basis

EQ can change over time and grows stronger with focused effort. After identifying areas of weakness in the realm of emotional intelligence, prioritize the skills that need improvement. Daily practices can bring awareness to emotional reactions.

6 Brilliant Things People With Emotional Intelligence Do

1. People with emotional intelligence respond rather than react.

So often we react and get defensive when faced with an emotionally charged situation or a difficult co-worker or client. In high-EQ people, once they get a handle on the root cause of a negative emotion (what's pushing their buttons), they typically respond with a more patient, "keep calm" approach. They'll process a situation about to go south, get perspective, listen with without judgment, and hold back from reacting head on.

2. People with emotional intelligence show up with their real selves.

A common tendency for people at work is to put on a mask that hides who they truly are when faced with difficult people or situations. An emotionally-intelligent worker or leader shows up with integrity and her best and most authentic self; she'll face those difficult people and situations with unfettered, emotional honesty and transparency. 

3. People with emotional intelligence think before they speak.

There's a nifty conversational technique called the "six second pause," used by people with emotional intelligence to gather their thoughts before they speak. Why six seconds? The chemicals of emotion inside our brains and bodies usually last about six seconds. During a heated exchange, if we can pause for a short moment, the flood of chemicals being produced slows down. When you are frustrated or upset, before you say something harsh, this precious pause helps you to quickly assess the costs and benefits of your actions and make more careful choices.

4. People with emotional intelligence handle tough situations better

Take an unhappy customer or a disgruntled coworker, for example. A high level of EQ in a colleague or manager will show up by staying calm and positive during tough conversations; it also shows up with firmness and boundaries to set limits on people during spiraling disagreements and unhealthy conflict.

5. People with emotional intelligence practice self-control.

Psychologist and best-selling author Daniel Goleman says this about people with self-control:

Reasonable people--the ones who maintain control over their emotions--are the people who can sustain safe, fair environments. In these settings, drama is very low and productivity is very high. Top performers flock to these organizations and are not apt to leave them.

Self-control is a learned skill to help you be more present, calmer, and focused during times of high stress. It's a necessary emotional skill with long-term payoff.

6. People with emotional intelligence look at the whole picture.

Because they operate with a high degree of self-awareness, they're able to see both sides of an issue and tap into their feelings and those of others to choose a different, and better, outcome. Quoting Daniel Goleman again, he says this about self-awareness:

"If you don't have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can't have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far."

                              Emotional Intelligence Graph

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: 10 THINGS YOU MAY NOT KNOW

Did you ever work for someone who showed no interest in anything but the bottom line? Were you ever in an organization that generated fear or anger? Have you occasionally found yourself unable to manage your own emotions to fit a specific situation?

In each situation, Emotional Intelligence (EI) is a critical factor.  How one understands and manages emotions and interacts with the emotions of others shapes everyone’s experiences and outcomes in life.

Even if you are already very emotionally intelligence, it is nice to know more.

Here are 10 facts about emotional intelligence you may not already know:

 1)      Emotional and social skills are four times more important than IQ when considering success and prestige in professional settings. Different studies give different results. However, in a study of PhD’s, social and emotional intelligence was significantly more important to professional success and prestige than IQ alone.

2)      We learn (and can unlearn) emotions. Not only do children learn how to distinguish emotions in themselves and others, they learn how to experience and react to emotions and channel their natural temperaments.

3)      Through limbic resonance, our bodies feel other people’s emotions. “Emotions are contagious. We catch them and we spread them.” ~Julio Olalla

4)      Emotions guide every decision we make.

5)      By changing our bodies, we can change our emotions.  Research on liking, alertness and confidence indicate that people change attitudes and responses based on changes in their bodies.  In addition, changing our bodies can change our own sense of power and even body chemistry.

6)      We are always in an emotion…even when we try to be emotionless. We may not show an emotion, but the fact that our bodies secrete hormones and we are interpreting the world around us causes us to perceive the world, assess it and experience a sensation –feel an emotion.

7)      Emotions affect our health, our relationships and our financial well-being. How we respond to other people and events in our lives often determines how people respond to us. The course of our lives often depends on our level of emotional intelligence (EQ).

8)      Mind, body, language and emotion are all tied together. The mind-body connection is nothing new. However, research on the effect of emotions on the body is intriguing. This article shows how the physical body changes to reflect different emotions.

9)      Emotions predispose us to act in particular ways. If we are angry, we see the world in a way that reinforces that anger and causes us to act differently than if we are fearful, sad or deliriously happy.

10)  Emotional intelligence can be learned. Through a process called “plasticity,” the brain changes as individuals practice new emotional intelligence strategies.